Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child

Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child I cannot think of another published work that deals effectively with healing the wounded inner child, like this book. Methodical and delibrate, Bradshaw explores territory unknown to our present conscious, but quite familiar to our subconscious. The earliest of memories, whether peripheral, non-descript "gut" feelings or vivid, clear, sensory-engaged recollections, can be stirred up with the meditations and mental exercises outlined by Bradshaw. Those that are considering purchasing this book, and are reading the reviews to help your decision process, probably already discussed this with a trained spiritual counselor to truly do the work necessary, to undo years of damage in early childhood that somehow manifested itself into inappropriate social behaviors (misplaced anger or rage, attention-seeking, sexualized friendships, marital infidelity, covert sex, pornography), defense mechanisms (disassociation, projection, passing blame or guilt) and addictions (chemical, sexual dependencies). Emotional wounds sustained at such an innocent age really cannot be healed properly until an emotionally healthy parent, particularly a fully-functioning, fit mother, can teach proper coping skills that later fully develop and become integrated into adulthood. Some of us have not been as fortunate to have a parent, much less two, that offered appropriate emotional guidance. Those that need innerchild work done, are those that were raised by damaged parents and damage is passed onto their children as abuse, whether sexual, emotional, physical, and/or spiritual. Proper intervention is required to recalibrate the wiring in emotionally unstable adults and get them up to their appropriate EQ. In doing the innerchild work, I caution those that try to accomplish this in solitude. The person in meditation may not know how to cope with the unearthed emotions (typically strong feelings of shame, guilt, and fear of unknown origin) unless a properly trained spiritual counselor provides enough guidance and tools to cope with the unpleasant, repressed feelings. It is also important to conduct the tasks in the order Bradshaw has outlined - Start at the infancy stage, do the meditation, and work on the emotions that surface, if at all. The best indication of how much damage was done to an individual is if the first task meditating at the infancy stage evokes a surge of unknown feelings. Then the work needed to get healthy requires the entire process suggested by Bradshaw. Skipping a chapter/exercise is not an option if the goal is to get emotionally fully integrated and healthy. In closing, this book is really a new beginning to properly train and socialize a wounded adult back into society, the workplace, family life. Essentially, the process is likened to that of an infant learning to crawl, stand, walk, and explore the world around them, with the loving and caring guidance that lacked in childhood. Bradshaw also includes a section on forgiving and releasing resentment and bitterness of the perpetrator(s) of the emotional damage. I've witnessed miracles of healing because of the innerchild methodology, in lock-step with spiritual rebirth. Many times, the latter is overlooked when in fact the two complement each other in the healing and deliverance of an addicted, depressed adult. The spiritual aspect is alluded to, but not expounded upon, by Bradshaw. However, this omission does not affect the overall success of the process. I still give the book Five Stars and would recommend this to anyone in need of deep healing.

This was the first book I read on my journey in personal development. That was almost 25 years ago. I was at my lowest point. Battling depression, social anxiety and the heavy belief that I am defective due to childhood trauma and so many family dysfunctions. I was emotionally flat-lined. My heart felt heavy, yet hollow. I pretended to be happy on the outside, but on the inside I was dead. Reading this book unlocked so many things for me and helped me begin to heal. I have recommended this book many times over. Today I am an accomplished speaker, author and coach who has transformed the lives of many and I feel like I'm just getting started with serving humanity in a greater capacity. This book was my beginning point. And I am forever grateful for the healing that has taken place. It truly is a journey!! You never wake up and think, "Well, I'm all done healing and learning!" But, with tools like this book, you can heal and actually feel happiness and joy. Thank you John Bradshaw!

You don't know what you don't know. We all learn different behaviors from our family of origin. But little kids may or may not know that their family is dysfunctional or not. That's the "normal" that they grow up with and bring into future relationships. Both good and bad. Unfortunately too many of us remember the bad and bring that into future relationships which turn out another dysfunctional generation. The book is a good read. There are also some videos on YouTube about this topic that give the reader insight and guidance. It helped me a lot. This is a secular book - there are few mentions of forgiveness. But the author told many instances from his own childhood that too many of us can relate to. Learn from his experiences and the guidance he provides. Make improvements in your own life. You are worth it!

This book is an excellent resource for survivors of childhood abuse. It provides a great general structure of the healing process and has a lot of great concepts. Also uses a lot of work pulled from notable research and literature in psychology related fields. There are some things to note however - some terms and concepts are slightly ignorant, like the use of the word “oriental” to describe people for example, not for any malice of the author but as a result of this being a generally older book. Discounting the outdated ideas and language, it’s a great resource as a general guide/rough structure to emotional healing work.

Although I chose to believe that everything happens FOR us rather than TO us (victim no more), we are all still uniquely wounded and adopt patterns of survival that don't serve our creative potential. Our caretakers, parents, siblings, teachers, school mates, aunts, uncles, cousins are our benevolent dictators and frequently our torturers. As children we are self centered and self involved (which is normal) and sensitive to every nuance that we interpret as critical. We hear "no" thousands of times to curb our natural enthusiasm and curiosity and are actually punished for the manner in which our brains project our genius. This natural genius has been long forgotten by the adults who are determined to socialize us into obedient conformists. Homecoming resurrects the community of children hiding in the shadow of fear and assists us in coaxing them back into life to once again become contributing aspects in our personality. John Bradshaw definition of shame versus guilt is brilliant. We claim to feel guilt that lasts for years and sometimes decades. Bradshaw says that guilt is being sorry for what we have done whereas shame is feeling sorry for who we "are" as a being. Read that again won't you. Let it sink in and integrate. It is a lighted discernment. What most call guilt is actually shame. Being ashamed of oneself. Being ashamed for who we are "being". A devastating difference. I give HOMECOMING to friends who are learning how to love their inner children (there is a community of aspects), help them find their voices again, and to return to some of the genius that is their birthright. Reading this book is a return of sanity. It is like working with Sybil (multiple personality) and taking all of the fractured aspects of the children within ourselves, and allowing them to reinvent themselves and flourish. HOMECOMING is practical and gently leads anyone "willing" into a world of new possibilities. Coupled with HOMECOMING, consider […] Byron Katie's "the work" is another tool for learning how to LOVE WHAT IS (one of her books).

Another book I had read years ago and bought as a gift for a very good friend and social worker colleague after we’d been discussing the author’s theory regarding childhood trauma and the inner child. We had both been in therapy ourselves and my friend is still working as a therapist.

I will re-read and refer to this book many times I'm sure. For those of you who want to see the patterns and understand what factors went into creating who you are (at the subconsious level driving your life & personality), there is absolutely no better book. When you have these unidentified subconscious drivers at work, no amount of mantras or "positive thinking" is going to suddenly reverse your direction. You must first understand what's going on. After reading this and thinking through things, I did feel like I'd been hit by a train for about 2 weeks time. I saw the gravity in the situations of my upbringing and understood more about why I've been attracted to certain "types" of people in my life - whether that's a romantic relationship or otherwise. You will see the pervasiveness of certain personalities in your life all the way around and in what way it is that you are striving to perform "in order to be loved..." Make no mistake, it can be a depressing process while you see the incidents of your life replay in front you, analyze and rethink "friendships" for what they really are. Being able to uncover the underlying blueprints of your own operations and what you are actually relating to in other people in your relationships is a first step to being able to make changes in your life. I also feel that for anyone who has or wants to have children, reading this will help you see if you are imprinting faulty aspects of your own upbringing onto your children and why people repeat the madness. I seem to talk about and recommend this book to everyone at some point. I also really look at the people around me and their lives and have a much greater degree of compassion and understanding for how they are living based on what I now know. I think that everyone will identify with aspects of themselves and their family models in the various real-world examples in the book

THIS BOOK HAS SAVED ME IN SO MANY WAYS. READING THIS BOOK MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I HAVE THE MOST AMAZING THERAPIST RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. THIS BOOK HAS HELPED ME HEAL MY INNER CHILD. FROM CHAPTER TO CHAPTER IT BREAKS DOWN THE HABITS, THE WHO, THE WHAT, THE WHERE, THE HOW, THE WHY AND THEN WHEN OF THE BROKEN INNER CHILD TO THE HEALED INNER CHILD WHO BECOMES A HEALTHY ADULT. BRADSHAW EXPLAINS EVERYTHING IN A VERY EASY WAY TO UNDERSTAND--NO "PSYCHO BABEL" MANNER. BRADSHAW EXPLAINS EVERYTHING IN A WAY THAT KEEPS YOU FOCUSED, ENCOURAGED, ENLIGHTENED AND EDUCATED.EACH CHAPTER BREAKS DOWN YOUR AGES TO EXPLAIN DEVELOPMENT. IN SOME CHAPTERS THERE ARE 16- 20 QUESTION INFORMATIVE QUIZZES AND MIND EXERCISES TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND YOURSELF AND OTHERS. THESE EXERCISES FOR EXAMPLE...."IMAGINE YOURSELF AS A SMALL CHILD...." THIS BOOK SHOULD BE A REQUIREMENT FOR EVERY COLLEGE STUDENT B/C IF EVERYONE TRULY UNDERSTOOD HOW, WHAT, WHY, ETC.....ABOUT THEIR INNER CHILD AND OTHER PEOPLE'S INNER CHILD..THIS WORLD WOULD HAVE SO MUCH HEALING AND FREEDOM TO BE AT PEACE, BE HAPPY, BE ACCEPTING AND LOVING OF THEMSELVES AND OTHERS. HIGHLY RECOMMEND FOR EVERYONE. I WISH THAT JOHN BRADSHAW WAS MY THERAPIST IN PERSON...

Great reference material to understand where you have lost yourself and the way to recover through Inner Child work.

A book everyone should read at least in their 20 s

This has been a very helpful read so far (I'm around the middle). The exercices and meditations have been very effective. I highly recommend this book

John Bradshaw wrote this book as a great source of information and as a workbook, which makes it enormously valuable. The first part describes how childhood is a crucial time for the development of basic behaviour patterns, character traits, and habits. Bad experiences and learning deficits in childhood lead to suppressed emotions, repressed anger, anxiety, insecurity, a lack of social skills, faulty anger management, compulsive behaviour, addictions, and more. As a result, many adults are actually adult children. A questionaire at the end of chapter one helps to determine if you need to do some work. In Part two John Bradshaw distinguishes five stages of child development. - Infant, age 0 - 9 months - Toddler, age 9 months - 3 years - Preschool, age 3 - 6 years - School-Age, 6 years to puberty - Adolescence, age 13 - 26 years Each stage begins with a tailor-made questionaire, which he calls Index of Suspicion. Then normal development during the stage is explained, and in contrast, he illustrates specific growth disorders and other problematic factors or events. After that he recommends that you write down as much information as possible about your family system and yourself. When done, you share it with a good, supportive friend or anyone you genuinely trust. It is important to talk about it and feel the feelings. Then you write a handwritten letter to your inner child at that age. As a response, you write a letter from this child yourself. The final step of each stage is to give your inner child kind and positive affirmations and a guided meditation that you can record and play back. Part three is about championing your wounded inner child, which means you give yourself a new childhood, a new nurturing set of rules to live your life more gracefully. Be the loving and supportive parent you wanted as a child. A change for the better can only be achieved if you do the suggested work. It takes a bit effort and time, but it's worth it.

What can I say, a great book, it's helping me through tough times, it gets heavy but gives great results.